Walking through life with my gaze on The Morning Star
One year. Morning Star Gazer is officially one year old and I’m feeling so many emotions as I reflect back to the beginning. Care to join me for a trip down memory lane? (There’s a surprise at the end 😉 )
I prepared for this blog for a very long time. I sat on the idea of it for months alone. I remember being at a Bible study with my friends and saying – “I think God wants me to start a faith based blog and focus on non-fiction, but… I’m fighting Him on it.”
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For most of my life I have spent Valentine’s Day as single as they come – except for last year. I was in a long distance relationship at the time and was so excited to have my first Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend. While we were unable to spend it together in person, it was still really special for me.
This year, however, I am facing Valentine’s Day as a single young woman. Only before, I would daydream about my future man and how special Valentine’s Day would be with him. This year, I’m looking at Valentine’s Day and feeling heartbroken because I had a taste of what it was like to spend it with someone I loved, but now that’s gone.
2017 was a really big year for me. It was the year I turned 18, graduated highschool, and got my first job working full time. I still remember how scared I was when that year was approaching. Somehow it felt like everything in my life was about to drastically change.
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Disclaimer: I am not in any way saying phones are solely bad. They’re actually very good and extremely useful when used responsibly. However, there are many reasons phones are dangerous and addictive and that’s mostly what I will be addressing today.
Technology is incredible, isn’t it? Do you think people a hundred years ago would have ever expected technology to be like it is today? I mean, I’m only 21 and yet I never would have imagined smartphones to exist. A mini computer, professional camera, phone, messaging, notes, photo albums, editing software, games, and more all within one small device that can fit in your pocket. It’s become so normal to me that my brain barely registers what I’m holding in my hand, but when I really stop to think about it… it’s pretty amazing.
We all make mistakes, but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m making too many.
I’m saying the wrong thing, I’m hurting people, I’m doing something wrong… Even sleeping past my alarm has made me feel pretty terrible lately.
I’ve never considered myself a perfectionist, but maybe I am.
Laziness has been the chain around my feet for years.
I don’t know why or when it started. Maybe I was always like this. But I do know it only got worse and worse and worse.
As with any other sin, we are always aware of it. We know it’s there. We hate it and crave it at the same time. Only thing is the craving for it seems to almost always win out.
Now, I haven’t done a whole lot of research on whether laziness is actually a sin or not, but I can honestly say that at the extent I have lived in it – laziness is definitely my biggest sin.
Forgiveness is hard sometimes, isn’t it? I know I can hold anger toward people for a long time if they have wronged me – or even if they wronged someone close to me. I may say I forgive them, but my heart is still harboring bitterness. Is that really forgiveness? No, it’s not.
I recently was inspired by Paul when reading 2 Timothy Chapter 4. In verse 16 he says,
I’m scared to write this article. I don’t want to admit all this. I don’t want to examine my heart in this way. But I know that being vulnerable and sharing our struggles with others is a way that helps us connect. It helps us not feel so alone.
With that said, let’s dive right in to today’s topic – insecurity.
This is something every person deals with in one way or another. For some it’s very minimal and they may not even realize it’s there, while for others it is crippling. I’m not happy to say that I am the latter.
*hums* “Read your Bible, pray every day and you’ll grow, grow, grow. But if you don’t read your Bible forget to pray, then you’ll shrink, shrink, shrink.”
Working in Children’s Ministry the past few years and being introduced to all these kid’s songs has made me realize how great they really are. They hold simple truths that are relevant even to grown ups.
The song I mentioned above, for example is saying that reading your Bible, praying, staying connected to God will grow your relationship with Him. However, if we aren’t doing these things, we tend to shrink or remain stagnant. We’re not meant to be stagnant in our relationship with God, we’re meant to grow.
Bullying is a real problem in this world. Whether it’s happening at school, by your own family, or your best friend — bullying is happening everywhere.
Yet with all those bullies in the world, throwing stones at our hearts or shooting arrows behind our backs, I think something we fail to recognize is that we can be our biggest bully.
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