Defeating Your Inner Bully

Bullying is a real problem in this world. Whether it’s happening at school, by your own family, or your best friend — bullying is happening everywhere.

Yet with all those bullies in the world, throwing stones at our hearts or shooting arrows behind our backs, I think something we fail to recognize is that we can be our biggest bully.

You know the saying, “you’re your own worst critic?” I think another way that could be worded is, “you are your biggest bully.”

Bullies will always jab at our weaknesses and laugh at our flaws. They look for our worst because they know striking there will hurt us the most.

Obviously, we know our flaws and weaknesses better than anyone in the world. That makes us a perfect target to attack ourselves with lies and hatred. Whether we despise the way we look, view ourselves as failures, feel weak, or just plain hate ourselves inside and out — we all have bullied ourselves at one time or another.

I know I bully myself every single day. I call myself a pathetic failure, I call myself gross, and I tell myself I have no purpose. I really tear myself down. I make myself cry with the lies I believe to be true. Maybe you’ve been there, too.

You know what’s funny, though? I would never speak to anyone else the way I speak to myself. I would never put someone down or intentionally hurt anyone. Instead, I try to build people up, to show them the beauty in the person they are and who God made them to be. 

Why is it that we spend hours in a day bullying ourselves, yet turn around and show others grace and love?

I’m reminded of Mark 12:31 which says,

“And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no greater other commandment than these.”

What if we really loved others as ourselves? I honestly don’t think we would have any friends.

So what if instead of hating who we are — we learned to love who God made us to be?

What if instead of whispering lies into our ears — we reminded ourselves of the truth by looking to God’s Word?

Let’s look now…

• You are LOVED — “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” John 15:9
• You are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE — “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14
• You are REDEEMED — “O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul; You have redeemed my life.” Lamentations 3:58
• You are CREATED with PURPOSE — “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
• You are SAVED — “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8
• You are STRONG in the Lord — “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.” Ephesians 6:10
• You are the LIGHT OF THE WORLD — “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden… Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14 & 16
• You are A FRIEND OF GOD — “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.” John 15:14

Isn’t it so refreshing to read those words of truth?

How much healthier would we be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually if we took a stand against our inner bully and fought back with love, grace, and truth?

How much better could we love others if we learned to love ourselves?

We are all made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), children of the Lord Most High (1 John 5:2). Yes, we all have flaws and weaknesses. We are far from perfect, but God doesn’t want us hating ourselves because of our imperfections. He has made us a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17) and our sins are cast as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:8–12). He doesn’t ask for our perfection and we should never put that expectation on ourselves. Perfection belongs to God alone. 

When the lies start to fill your mind, look to God’s Word and remind yourself of who HE says you are.

Let us put an end to bullying His workmanship by learning to live out the command of Mark 12:3. <3